In Lieu Of Flowers 

By: Plinton Curry
Monday, October 8, 2018

Sending flowers to the bereaved is a longstanding funeral home and cremation tradition in South Plainfield, NJ and beyond. However, modern grievers are starting to lean away from flowers, and are beginning to ask friends and family to not send any. If they don’t want flowers, what should you send? Use this list of ideas to inspire you as to what you should send to the bereaved to show support.    

  1. “In Lieu of Flowers” – Sometimes the family will tell you what to send instead of flowers. Check for an “in lieu of flowers” statement at the bottom of an obituary or invitation.  
  2. New Photos – The bereaved would greatly appreciate any photos of the deceased that they might not have. Compile photos on a disk, or send them in an email with a supportive message.  
  3. Self Care – Most people let self-care fall to the side after a loss. Give the bereaved some time for themselves by sending a gift card for a massage, nail treatment, yoga class, or anything else you think they might enjoy.  
  4. Donation – Make a donation in the name of the deceased. Choose an institution with meaning. For example, if the deceased was a friend from high school or college, consider a memorial donation to that institution. Or, if they were involved in a charity, make a donation to that charity or cause.  
  5.  Vacation Time – Most businesses allow you to donate vacation or leave days to other people in your office. If your coworker has suffered a loss, consider giving them one of your days off so they can enjoy more self care or time with family.  
  6. Something For The Kids – Children can easily be overlooked in times of loss, so a good gift might be something for the kids. Use the children’s age to inform you. Younger kids might appreciate a coloring book or stuffed animal, while older kids might like a journal, movie, video game or something else to take their mind off the events.  
  7. Acts of Service – When someone loses a loved one, tasks like house and lawn work often fall to the side. It can be a big help and stress relief to the bereaved can be a gift certificate to a cleaning service (even better, with an offer to call and get it scheduled) or a gift certificate to a lawn care service. You can also do some lawn care yourself.  
  8. Food - Right after a death, families are often overwhelmed with food from other family members and friends.  However, in a few weeks after the death a gift of food will probably be much more appreciated. A nice basket of non-perishable foods can be nice, especially snacks they can offer to people who stop by unexpectedly.  A good standby if you really want to stick with food may be a gift card to a local restaurant or carry out.  Another nice offer would be to grab their grocery list and go shopping for them.  

For more ideas on what to send to a bereaved friend, or to learn more about South Plainfield, NJ funeral homes and cremations, contact Plinton Curry Funeral Home by visiting 411 W Broad St Westfield, NJ 07090 or calling (908) 232-6869.

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